Codependency is a Focus on Others
Everyone is focused on others to some extent, however the codependent is focused on others because they require others to define them. Their self definition requires the abuse of others to exist; they require abuse to feel alive. They know how to deal with abuse. Codependents Anonymous, which is free to all who need it, says this about the codependent: “We attempted to use others – our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well being, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which at times we have used to cope with our co-dependence.”
You're a free standing individual, yes part of a collective, but you are free standing. If you need others to define you, to occupy your mind so that you can avoid observing your own thoughts, and to try to control them in order to make them parent you, then you're codependent. It's not others' jobs to parent you. It's your own. If you had insufficient parenting as a child, it's your job to re-parent yourself as an adult. Using a program or at least seeing a shrink are good ways to learn how to do this. You have to learn what healthy behaviour is.
Many people think that codependency is like having a scab on the body. It'll heal. Just leave it be. No. Codependency is you being pushed on a gurney down the hallway of a hospital to have life saving surgery. That's how important codependency is.
For people who had parents that were scene stealers, parents who hogged all the attention and kept the focus of family life upon themselves, these children never learned how to define themselves independently of someone else. The codependent will often but not exclusively come from addicted families. There will be an alcoholic, drug addict or some otherwise addicted person who would manipulate the codependents (usually spouse and children) into providing an excuse for more drinking or other addictive behaviours. “If you weren't like that, I wouldn't have to drink!” You don't have to drink anyway, but it's not because of other people.
Because these people are unconscious they often marry or partner with people who they scapegoat. The scapegoat also tends to come from families where they were scapegoated by their parents. This is inter generational abuse and it comes about because of mind control, particularly the dark mother and king of tyranny programming. If you had parents who kept the focus of the family on themselves by creating chaos and drama, if you were ignored, neglected or abused in any way including verbal, you are probably codependent.
You don't see yourself as being capable of defining yourself without an abuser in your life. You don't like to live alone because you feel like you're nothing. You can't define yourself without a constant stream of violence, aggression and upset in your life. Being at peace and living in a calm house doesn't sound sustaining to you – it sounds awful. You don't know how to deal with peace and quiet!
The Codependent is on the victim triangle, usually as the victim however they can play the other two positions. One thing you have to know about the triangle: triangulation never stops. Because players can switch positions triangulation can go on in relationships indefinitely. What you need to do is learn to become assertive and insist on face to face, one to one conversations, not through or involving a third person.
The codependent is completely defended against knowing themselves. That's why they require a perpetrator to define them. The codependent uses the typical deflective skills of minimization, denial, gaslighting, comparison, compliance, rationalizing, justifying, avoidance and blaming in order to manage life. Does this sound like any way to live? Does this sound like thriving to you? It doesn't to me and it wasn't!
I've attached a worksheet so you can read about these defense mechanisms that we build up in childhood, and as an adult in order to function better we have to stop using them.
What this sheet doesn't mention is other defense mechanisms that the codependent uses on other people, who generally are well aware of what the codependent is trying to do, offensive behaviour like ass kissing, flattery, trying to appear as someone they're not, bribing, ingratiating themselves in some other way like financially, hiding motives and intentions, and more.
All of these defensive and offensive behaviours are manipulative and controlling skills acquired and practised in childhood in order to appease the addict/perpetrator in their lives.
Folks, people resent being treated this way. I personally don't like to be regarded as a substitute for your toxic mother. You're not living in real time, you're stuck in the past. You need to heal your childhood wounds and get present. Being able to function in the now is part of neutralizing the effect the veil of amnesia has on you and helps you to retrieve all parts of yourselves include your akashic. You get to have a better understanding of who you are when you quit behaving in this false understanding of who you're not!
Earth gave you the gift of confusion. Many people are codependent and don't even realize it. I believe codependency is the language of the Matrix. Overcoming codependency is about standing in your own power. Assertive people are far more powerful than those who use sneaky demeaning methods of trying to communicate with others. And it's a bad way to get your needs met as well, I find. People resent having to deal with codependents because they don't want to relate to you on their toxic level.
An easy test to see how codependent you are: How much time do you spend focused on others' behaviours, criticizing what they do wrong rather than what you do wrong? Yes, that's what I mean. If you've got an inner critical voice that's loud and takes every opportunity to proclaim how everyone else is wrong (and the assumption then is that you're perfect) then you're codependent.
I dealt with my codependent critic and don't hear from it much anymore. Every time she started talking I realized she was a tape recording of my mother and her insecurities and I told her to shut up. It works. This may seem discompassionate but at the time she rears her head I'm usually not in a very good mood and it's the best I can do. I have learned to have compassion for myself and for my mother who taught me to be this way.
Ivo: But this is a good point, my love. You have been taught to be that way. And anything you've been taught can be unlearned. It requires going through it to find yourself on the other side.
Ivo: There is a part of you that will not change and that is your divine essence. However there is a part of you that is malleable as it is the mind of the avatar in the lower dimensions. This is the part of you sent to earth in order to learn. What you learn can be changed.
Sharon is in the process of unlearning everything she has ever learned because it was harmful for her. She understands that she must do this because her thinking was not helping her to remember herself at all, it was hindering it.
She has taken on many beliefs on earth that others simply accept without questioning so she questions everything. She wonders why all the houses are the same in her neighbourhood, why do they all grow green grass and have paved driveways? Why all the standards? Why all the complicity? Why do people accept a working life and the need to use money without questioning it? Why are things that have no price tag seen as worthless when in fact at times they are the most worthy items there are? Why is there a need to value everything financially? Can you value the loss of a life? Yet it is attempted.
Sharon wonders why there is so much aggression. Why not the sweetness and gentleness of a still moment? Where did appreciation of the quiet go in favour of the loudness of carnivals, streets laden with cars, and stores packed with shoppers? Why entertain yourself this way when nature is so much more giving? Why is it seen as less interesting?
Me: I'd be gone in a heartbeat if I could get out there. I think even in Toronto there were more natural spots we could sit and enjoy the quiet. We used to sit and watch sailboats in Lake Ontario on sunny days. For hours. Just sitting there watching people enjoying the pathway and watching the boats. It was bliss! Absolute heaven. Now I have speed boats and RCMP officers trying to catch drug runners here. They run drugs from the U.S. to Canada over Cornwall Island. I'd give my eye teeth to watch the sailboats again. They were beautiful.
I just keep thinking, “What can I do? Where can I go?” just to sit and experience a breeze on my face and the squawking of sea gulls. I miss it. We don't have that kind of thing here. Just a small beach which they have thank God, and a few parks.
I still love a sunset. I still love the smell after it rains. Life can be so invigorating.
Ivo: Your world no longer suits you, my love.
Me: It never did, it just took me a lifetime to realize that. Others will realize that too, soon, and they'll start to make changes. Just think if you work from home or on line, then you can move anywhere and live anywhere you want. Earth will change as people realize they miss things like peace and quiet. Then they'll start doing something about it.
Ivo: Were you to understand the language of your addiction, you would understand what is missing from your life. Admittedly, many starseeds did not come to earth to have a balanced life. There often is something missing and often it is your twin flame and loving galactic families. Your way of life is missing, your ideology – that of the Law of One, is missing in all you relate to on earth. This often will set up the starseed for addictive behaviour or codependent behaviour, but when you release all of these things what you will find when you let them go is yourself. Your true self. Sharon is undergoing the last steps of this now and it is not easy for her as she must remember some very traumatizing situations she endured as a baby, however the prize is worth it. The prize is your true self and more of your own empowerment.
Me: Yes, codependency is the language of being disempowered. I'll put up a list of characterististics. Melody Beattie has good books describing the characteristics too and for those without money to spend on books, go to your local charity shop with a book section. You'll find her books there because they were very popular before, with good reason.
As These Negative Energies Reverse, Everything Else Will Reverse Or Fall
Ivo of Vega: Yes, I put that into my love's head the other day and she made note of it. This is a truth. As the positive energies increase, what was once negative will either die or reverse its polarity.
This holds true for people as well as institutions upon planet Earth.
What cannot be reversed as it is so evil will simply die. Evil cannot stand the higher vibratory rate that planet earth is now experiencing and you see so many of those who are evil have given up their game. They have either sworn to change or have been taken off planet in order to face galactic trial. This counts for those you see face to face and those you do not see who have been working in the background to continue to enslave you.
Everything is energy and life depends upon its vibratory frequency. Those evil ones who came to earth: the Annunaki, the djinn, the Archons and more, to enslave people required that you be enslaved because they have of themselves no source of life. They are parasites by nature.
They have created a low vibratory system in which the earthling functions at levels far beneath its normal standard but which they thrive at. This evil system is what is being revealed to all upon planet earth now and as it is revealed to you and you reject it, because you are the keepers of the keys to planet earth, what you say prevails. If the majority says that they will not stand for any more war, so it will be. No more war. That is coming in fact.
If the people on earth are repulsed by satanic behaviours towards children, then these satanic behaviours will no longer be able to be conducted.
Those of the lowest frequency were caught first and have given themselves up. Those whose frequency is slightly higher are still upon the earth attempting to create their warfare and compromising human children, as they always have. But they are reducing in numbers.
We have striven to take away their cloning facilities but yet they still have access to a few as well as CGI facilities which we are seeking to compromise at this time. Much is being done in the DUMBs as well and as you know this is still ongoing. Watch where floods are occurring.
As they die, you will grow. They are the ones who have held your frequency down all these years and now that they can no longer influence you, you are free to rise up to a level that you naturally feel good at. Now, this is conditional and the condition is that you must be willing to give up your lower frequency behaviours, thoughts, beliefs and ideas. These must go because this programming is what has held you down.
You will see their continued attempts to control your minds through fear. The only thing you need do is banish fear from your lexicon and live without it. Then you have beat their system.
Many of your world's leaders have been compromised against their will and we make deals with them in order to allow them to work for the Light, as they had always intended to do. However, there are always those who oppose them. So many skirmishes and battles are being carried out on earth now: personal, private, public and within the governmental arena that we simply watch to see who wins. We do our utmost to stack the deck on the side of the Light as ridding this world of evil is what we have sought to do for millions of years. Yes, we have fought the evil that has controlled your world long before it came to roost upon earth.
And good will win. The Light will win. Any other way is impossible, because without those of the Light to parasite energy from, there would be nothing. Life will continue.
Our mission is to see that the Light will prevail. For darkness to leave the people of earth, this is up to you, but we are here to help you.
Many of you ask when disclosure will happen. It is already happening. I am not from earth and you are listening to many extraterrestrials who speak to you from beyond your planet. Many of you wait for the rest of the public to be disclosed to, however it does not work that way. People turn to the disclosure messages when they are ready and not before. We will not force the people of earth to understand that we are here; it is when they are ready that they will awaken to our presence and not before.
Sharon asks about a nuclear event and Ashtar's admission of disclosure at that time. Yes, if it gets to that point but the likelihood of that is very slim in fact. Ashtar would only disclose the presence of extraterrestrials if earth stood on the precipice of being annihilated. And right now it is not.
Earthlings are working through their collective shadow. For those who have already done or are doing this work at a higher level, what is going on on earth may seem irrelevant to you. Some are feeling drained of their energy and yes, it is being used to buoy those who are not awake yet and the reason for this is if you did not give of your energy, those people would die. There are still many who have contracted to wake up at this point in time. Perhaps another 9/11 event would help as it did years ago.
Your energy is not a personal item. As you are all One, it is being distributed around the world to help others in need. It helps to heal the sick and helps those who perhaps would make errors in judgment not to make these errors. The human energy on earth is one large consciousness. You are a part of that energy and when you help others to raise their consciousness, you carry less of the load yourself.
This is why we teach that you must take responsibility for yourself and shoulder your own load – because in doing so you are holding all the energy you can and allowing others to do the same. The more you shoulder of the collective consciousness, the more Light you hold as well.
You have seen many things reversed that you felt you would be stuck with. Governments with prime ministers and presidents who have quit, only to be replaced by someone who might appear equally unfit to govern. But then again, this leader quits and he is replaced. It could continue to be this way until such time the energies level off but for now you will be able to choose your leaders – not by vote but using the power of your mind and consciousness. Perhaps I might refer to your system of “trying to get it right” as the way this would appear to be. You are not trying to get it right – the leader of choice responds to the collective level of Light within those they would govern.
Me: That makes sense Ivo because we've still got Castro and he's not going anywhere. And Canadians are slow to wake up in my opinion.
Ivo: Yes. There has been little done in Canada to awaken those asleep. You are at a lack for leaders and more are focusing on the United States, however you must focus on your own country as well.
That is the true way to vote. Many of you are unaware of the subtle energies that are ruled by universal law that run this planet because you have never seen them at work for the Light, you have only seen them misused against you. But you will learn that to hold positive energy and to have concern for those people around you is the strongest vote you can cast.
We are listening. We know what you are undergoing. Karma is being rebalanced and the dark ones are being taken to the Light. Once again, earth will become the paradise she was intended to be, not the hard learning school of the latter years.
Ayevo Is Taking “the Lyran Gate” Back Home
Hi folks. This month Ayevo is going back to Vega on vacation. My parents are already there and his parents are there and so is one of our daughters and our grandchildren. Oh. I see Enoch, our son is going with him, I'm told.
So I'm alone here (sniff sniff) with only my brother Merton, who's my wing man. Ayevo is taking the last of my family over to our home on Elteron.
Why does he always go in August? You might be wondering, because he does. I ask Adama to sub in for Ayevo so you'll be seeing more of his work this month as well as St Germain and El Morya. I like to ask someone different for more information on what Ayevo channels on because sometimes they say it differently and it clicks better for me. Adama is going to focus on the three fold flame: power, love and wisdom.
Ayevo goes on vacation in August because he's flying above the Northern Hemisphere and during August the constellation of Vega is at its closest to us. So that's when he goes for about a month.
So, Ayevo, you told me you're taking the Lyran star gate. What is this and where is it? Does it start at earth?
Ayevo: No, my love, you must enter the sun.
Me: Oh. Yes, I know it's a gate.
Ayevo: At that point it has many stargates and to find the one you desire you must calculate the frequency you need. So you would calculate the frequency of Elteron, our home planet, into our controls and then the ship will find the correct gate.
Me: Yes, you wouldn't want to end up in 3D Draco, would you?
Ayevo: No. LOL
Me: But you've got this calculation on speed dial, don't you?
Ayevo: We use it often. I have taken you home at night time although you were not aware of it.
Me: So this star gate... is it a fixed thing or do you create them?
Ayevo: No, it is a fixed thing. The point of entry is the sun.
Me: Wow. I can't imagine flying into the sun but you've done it a lot.
Ayevo: We understand what the sun is. We understand that if you are at the correct frequency it cannot harm you.
Me: Imagine the poor guy who figured out the hard way.
Ayevo: We have our scientists too, just as you had a Gallileo and a Newton. They broke through new theories and we did this as well. However the first time we sent a ship into a star we made sure it was mechanical and we had recording devices on the ship to see what the ship experienced. We did lose a few ships but we perfected this technique because now we know the science.
Me: Are there other star gates there too?
Ayevo: There are many. They go to the Pleiades and other constellations.
Me: Interesting. And they can fit a ship in them?
Ayevo: They can fit mother ships in them as well. Energy is expansive and contractive, my love. They will fit whatever you desire.
Me: Are there star gates around earth?
Ayevo: Yes, there are.
Me: Where do they go?
Ayevo: They go to many other planets within the solar system as well as to many of the forerunner races home stars, such as Alpha Centauri.
Me: Why do we have to go to the sun? Why can't our star gate just connect at earth?
Ayevo: The Lyrans and Vegans decided to do it this way instead.
Ayevo: Simplification of the process. It is as much to take a star gate to the sun as it is to take it from the sun to another sun. It is a short journey to the sun. It doesn't take much time at all, so we decided to create the gate at the sun.
Me: You created it?
Ayevo: Yes, we programmed it. We can de-program it as well.
Me: Yes, I'm thinking as soon as you said the word “de-program” that you're intending all listeners to wake up a bit more, to de-program them from their matrix teachings.
Ayevo: The word does have that intention, yes.
Me: So you were doing that?
Ayevo: Yes, I was. I am trying to de-program you.
Me: So how's that working for you? LOL
Ayevo: It is going well but we are at the final stages. The large red eye you saw last night as you woke up is significant in that you have never seen large red eyes staring at you at night time.
Me: So it's something new and that's what you're saying progress is when people are losing the veil.
Me: How big was that thing staring at me?
Ayevo: Rather large.
Me: I guess with red eyes he either came for visine or he came for trouble.
Ayevo: He was troublesome.
Me: I just laughed at it and went to the toilet. What was it?
Ayevo: It was reptilian.
Me: With red eyes? I didn't see the slitted pupil. I only saw the iris.
Ayevo: That is still progress.
Me: Okay. So seeing new things is progress. I guess I'm seeing more frequencies and seeing behind their shields or something because I know they shield themselves from our seeing them.
Ayevo: They do. So every frequency you are accessing and counter programming. Because the frequencies are programmed and you are able to de-program them as well.
Me: So there's something more to it than just being able to see that frequency?
Ayevo: Yes, take your computer for example. It vibrates at a particular frequency and that frequency is fine but it requires programming in order to function. So do their shields. They are of artificial intelligence.
Me: So there's an A.I. component to this? Not just organic/energetic?
Me: Oh that makes sense too, doesn't it? So we have to become computer hackers and we have to hack their A.I. technology?
Me: How did I do it?
Ayevo: Would you like the simple explanation or the complicated explanation?
Ayevo: Very well, what you did was your energy was sent to surround the A.I. component and lower its frequency in order that it will relate to your frequency. In doing so, it is possible to negate the frequency of the A.I. And so deactivate the technology. In this case, the shields of the reptilian.
Me: I see more things while I'm waking up, in the in between stages of sleep and awake. I see a lot more there. That's when I see globs of free floating negativity as well. Why did I see its eye only?
Ayevo: Because this was the brightest colour and the frequency most able for your mind to tune in to.
Me: Okay, that's a start. So we have to be hackers, guys. And this is the other thing. Implant Communications is going to start trying to help parents with children who are being attacked at night time and otherwise by dark astral entities. They're not off the planet yet and they're still a nuisance but there are things I believe you can do to help your children sleep soundly in spite of their presence.
We're starting a page on that on our first website sharonandAyevo.weebly.com. I'm starting to remember some of my early childhood memories and I realize now I could see these things and it scared the living hell out of me as a kid. I was a nervous wreck back then. And that's why.
So we don't want this happening to your kids. They're going to start to see them because of the rising frequency of earth and the fact that their DNA is more active than ours is so they need help.
Thank you, Ayevo.
Ayevo: My love, you are most welcome.
COPYRIGHT OF THESE IMAGES IS HELD BY IMPLANT COMMUNICATIONS. ANY THEFT OF THESE IMAGES IS PROSECUTABLE BY LAW. Ivo's image is watermarked because his image is this service's logo; Tiannia is watermarked because this is my other body.