Controlling Versus Loving Behaviours
Me: Ivo, how do we discuss this in 10 minutes or less?
Ivo: (smiling) It is a difficult task, to be sure.
Me: I have a few things I want to say to people who follow me. For starters, the ascension process requires your focus to be on yourself, not on others' faults as you perceive them. If you're going through ascension, keep your focus on yourself because the minute you switch to what someone else has done wrong, you're being controlling. In any interaction with another person, you're 50 per cent and they are 50 per cent of the transaction. The only part you can change is your half.
When you're focused on what others are doing wrong as per your perception, you're being controlling and frankly, you're focused on changing something that will be very difficult to do and interfering with their free will. Yes, I know. We learned that in the Matrix. Well, we're leaving the Matrix now.
The reason you want to control someone is because you're fearing them in some way. All controlling behaviours arise out of fear of them, not love for them.
Me: The next thing I want to say is I am one person who has thousands of people following me and scrutinizing my messages and my behaviour. If you think I'm perfect, you're deluding yourself. If you expect anyone to be perfect, think again. This is 3D/4D earth. Anyone who tries to correct my behaviour, to tell me how to behave, is an energy vampire and being very controlling and I will deal with them as I would any energy vampire.
Of course, people will wonder, "What about being forgiving?" Like I have said before, I forgive people constantly. I have to to be able to continue to do this work. However you won't get the chance to do it again or to become a problem for me by repeating the same behaviours over and over. Like anyone else, I know the pitfalls of having people in my life who behave dysfunctionally and I choose not to have them. I also know I'm targeted by the dark and that people are being used to disrupt my life and to keep my vibe low. The worst part is it works!
People expect because I'm followed by the public that I have to be nice all the time and I have to be perfect. I think people call that Hollywooding someone. What I am is real and authentic. I still have my warts and if you can't deal with me being real, then you need to drop this channel in a hurry because I am very real. I worked in a workplace where I felt I had to be nice no matter what others did to me, so I got severely abused. Don't think I didn't learn that lesson. They would get what was coming to them now if I were in the same situation. They would be told. No need to swear or call them names but I would be very assertive and I have always been that way since then. I am also outspoken.
Expecting me to conform to your vision of who I should be is your control issue. We make up stereotypes for people all the time. This person is a jock, so they should behave like this and then we're surprised when this jock is a caring, loving, humble man. This person is a Hollywood star so we expect them to be egotistical, obnoxious and full of themselves, and then when the person is kind, loving and an animal rescuer we're shocked. Throw out your stereotypes of people and learn to see them as they are. Understand in doing so, your ego's needs will get in the way. They will assert themselves while you are trying to assess this person's character and colour up your view of someone to be exactly as you want them to be.
There's a lot of this going on around people who are "spiritual types." We don't take into account that being spiritual and going through ascension has to do with releasing negative energetic blocks that we created in duality, or for some that they're empathic anyway and overwhelmed by negativity around them as it is, or that they have opted to transmute the familial DNA line so that new generations can be born into this DNA line without having to be traumatized. My familial DNA is a quarter Vegan, quarter Lyran and half Pleiadian. Right now, anyone born into this DNA line is assured a life of abuse as it is of very low vibration.
Because I'm transmuting this now, hopefully future generations will be of higher frequency because the DNA was cleared out of negativity. This is no small job. Both my parents were narcissists and I'm assuming that many were who were born in prior generations. I'm not an isolated case either. There are many more who are doing this so that humanity can continue to live on earth without the violence and suffering we've experienced to date.
That is spirituality and ascension. People have this idea of what spirituality is based on an ideal, which is common when we stereotype. We look at the ideal and automatically assume that is what that person is. We all have our dualistic natures, except for those who are ready to go to 5D because they have already transcended them. Your ego is the part of you that doesn't accept people as they are and it's because it has an agenda. You either want to point out their flaws and feel superior to them, or you want them to be perfect so you can take an inferior place under them or to be safe with someone for a change.
The soul has no need to do that. It accepts all as they are without playing ego games. It understands the goal of all lives as being ascension and embodiment of the higher dimensions within the physical in this life. The ego tries to thwart that by getting you to misunderstand your true purpose on earth and getting you to hate those who you feel are beneath or above you. Don't listen to it and stop trying to fix people you feel don't meet your standards. They are on their own path led by their higher selves whether they have contact or not.
Nice and perfect are not real. I am authentic and express my authentic self and some people may not like this. Again, expecting me to conform to your vision of who I should be is your control issue.
Ivo: You will get there, my love.
Me: Unconditionally loving? I wish! It's a helluva' stretch going from a child who has suffered narcissistic abuse to being unconditionally loving. And it's a lot of work. To be able to love everyone and not to be affected by their behaviour would be the ideal. I've drempt of that all my life.
Ivo: Keep working on raising your vibration and working on forgiving those who transgress in error.
Me: Yes, it's about raising your vibration, isn't it? Because I know I've been in a space before where I couldn't have cared less what anyone said or did. I'm not there now.
Ivo: Your goal was shown to you. You were happy.
Me: I'm not now, and BTW people don't send me your energy. I didn't ask for you to send me your energy and this too, is a violation of my free will if you send it. I happen to have myself blocked off from receiving any energy from anyone because unfortunately your energy also includes your own issues and I don't need any more to deal with. I have plenty of baggage to last me this trip on earth. Plenty to deal with. I am already overwhelmed. Thank you for your kind thoughts, but I'm not interested in mixing energy with any more people than I have to. Ivo's making me laugh!
Ivo: We can mix energies, my love!
Me: We do all the time, Ivo. I love talking to you guys because your energy is so much higher than what I'm used to and it feels so good.
Ivo: You will get there, my love. You will return home to me. You did take on a large load - many lightworkers have chosen to do so. You understood the earth needed you to do this and you complied.
Me: No comment.
Ivo: It does not feel good and now Akon has said that the energies you are feeling now will not abate until the solstice.
Me: That's all I needed. But then yes, I have to remember I'm not doing this for myself. When I think I'm doing this for myself, then it doesn't make sense. When I remember I'm doing this for others, to keep a species of humans alive and restarting an ascension process, then it makes sense. I sacrificed 75 years for the sake of others. No, I'm not martyring myself.
Ivo: As for those who try to control vs. loving behaviours, I have one word of advice to help people to understand what they are attempting to do. When you are attempting to accept a person AS THEY ARE, with faults and all, this is a loving behaviour.
But when you are attempting to CHANGE a person to something other than what they are, this is a controlling behaviour. You are assessing what you see as being wrong with them, then attempting to fix it by saying something to them, or sending your energy to them, or whatever action you may be taking. But you are attempting to change them, and when you attempt to change others to how you feel they should be, you are attempting to control them.
A person who surfs the internet or deals with others by looking for their faults is a controller. Nobody wishes to have their faults pointed out to them and with these ascension processes, it is not necessary to do so. If you do so, it is for the sake of your ego alone and you must be aware that your behaviour will not be welcomed by many.
Sharon has been having a moody month. Since she took chanka piedra which started to detox her liver and she ended up in the emergency unit requiring fluids because she could not eat or drink, she has been having a hard time. Energies are working to rid her of her customary impatience and her own controlling behaviours. She is feeling it.
So when her moodiness shows the controllers come out to tell her how she must behave in order to conform to what they want her to be.
Me: Exactly as the Matrix has taught everyone: keep everyone else in compliance! Keep them in line by telling them they're out of line! This has filtered over to the spiritual community as well: this Matrix behaviour of expecting compliance to some standard. Exactly the same. We should do a video on this as well, Ivo. How the Matrix mind and ego has infiltrated the spiritual community.
Ivo: We can.
Allowing people to go through their moods because moods are part of a healthy process of seeing the light and changing one's behaviour, is being loving. Trying to tell the person what to do to either cut the process short or how to behave because you feel threatened by that person or disappointed that they do not live up to your view of who they should be, is controlling behaviour.
There are caveats to this of course. If the other's moods are a threat to your physical well being or are creating a life of havoc complete with emotional abuse, then it would be best to rethink the relationship.
As for an occasional moody post on Facebook then it is not a problem unless you make it a problem. There are people who are compulsive fixers but they must understand that they are energy vampires. This is a problematic behaviour. Needing to change others because you feel you know better than they do, especially when it pertains to their own life, is controlling, vampiric and an infringement of their free will and their ascension process. When asked to help, that is different. But so many offer help even when it is not asked for and then do not understand why they are being rebuffed.
Me: It's like my old aunties.
Ivo: You have had every sort of interference imaginable in your life, provided firsthand by your family and relatives.
Me: My family was a bunch of energy vampires and they became the inspiration for all my posts now. Wait till we get going on the next book, Ivo! I'll be on a roll then. But I'm waiting till the solstice ends to start writing.
Ivo: Very good.
Me: To sum up, I put this together as channeled by Ivo:
How to figure out if you're being loving or being controlling:
1. Someone's behaviour bothers you (big clue),
2. You're focused on them, not on yourself and your reaction to their behaviour, (controlling),
3. You do something or tell them something that is intended to change them, presumably to become more the way you want them to be, (controlling)
4. Instead of accepting they are like this (loving) and asking them if they want to talk or would like some help - leaving that option entirely in their hands (loving).
5. Expecting conformity to some imaginary (or not) standard is Matrix ego-based behaviour.
It's about tossing aside what you expect others to be in favour of accepting them as they are. Bearing in mind, your own boundaries and that they don't violate your right to safety and non-abuse.
Ivo: The point is to ask the questions, “How does their behaviour affect me?” “Does this behaviour disempower me?” “Does my reaction disempower me?” When you seek to rescue, to fix or to correct the person who you see as faulty, you are in effect lowering your own vibration and disempowering yourself. Any act of ego is an act of disempowerment. Do not forget that. You are intending to interfere with their free will to be who they are and to behave as they want.
Me: Good point, Ivo.
Ivo: The last thing to ask is, “How can I be more loving?” Being more loving can include bearing witness to their behaviour and not responding to it, especially negatively. That is an extremely loving act. To allow them to be themselves and mirror back to them your acceptance of them as they are!
Me: You do it all the time, Ivo. LOL You have to! LOL
Ivo: I do. I hear you. I witness your moods, your anger, your frustration at being on this planet that you dislike so much and so badly want to change. I witness your anger at the inhumanity of humans towards others and towards the earth and the animals. I believe I understand why you feel the way that you do about your life. I have been there as your guide throughout your entire life and I feel I know all of you, even your physical mind. It is hard to surprise me. I often know the roots of your behaviour before you understand them. I love you as you are. Even with your warts as you call them.
Me: I love you too, Ivo.
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