Me: Today's subject: The Karpman Drama Triangle.
The Karpman Drama Triangle is a life game played with 3 players. Each player has a role but these roles can be switched at any time depending on the dynamics of the relationship. This is a very common way of relating for dysfunctional people. It is not exclusive to families. It can be found in the workplace or any other place people relate to each other. The drama triangle enforces ego roles, not soul relating to soul.
The first player is the perpetrator who starts off the drama. He seeks the second player, who is the victim, and seeks to victimize that second player through some either aggressive, manipulative, controlling or other dysfunctional means of relating.
The third player is the rescuer, who rescues the victim from their circumstances.
Like I said, each player can swap roles at any time. I'll give you one example.
When I was 16, my father, the narcissist, who we all saw as being the perpetrator, decided to "play" with me one day by putting his arm around my throat and trying to strangle me. At the time, I had long nails so I dug them into his arm, making him yell in pain and releasing his stranglehold on my neck.
I moved away from him quickly and was very angry. My father was very upset that I didn't want to play and that I'd stuck him with my nails. Now switching to the victim role, acting as if he was hurt, my mother jumped in and rescued him, telling me I had to apologize to him for what I had done. I was made the perpetrator now because I had defended myself and the original offense, his trying to strangle me, was not addressed at all. Very cunningly, narcissists will manoeuver you into the role of being their perpetrator so they can vent their anger out at you. However, this is NOT limited to narcissists. It is done by any person with an ego all the time.
Narcissists like to play the victim. That's why they project all their negative self-loathing at people around them - because they want to be seen as a the victim or the rescuer, the two more desirable roles in the triangle. They don't want to be seen as the perpetrator because that would make them have to admit they really are as rotten as they feel they are, so they do anything to avoid it.
You can also see why the word “Drama” is in the name of this interaction: trying to strangle your kid certainly does create drama within the family. Drama refers to the unsettling, dysfunctional interaction between the players of the triangle.
You see this play out all the time on Facebook: someone says something, like puts up a post, another person attacks the post (who is the perpetrator, now making the poster the potential victim) and a bunch of rescuers come in in the comments to save the victim from the perpetrator by attacking the perpetrator. Trolls often are the perps. Watch, on many posts, the first commenter is the negative perpetrator and is the troll. Trolls often are the first commenters in lightworker group posts. They are trying to create the triangle so they can keep all the lightworkers in ego roles.
This post could remain like this, with the commenter made a victim of, and rescuers attacking the perpetrator, but watch. The perpetrator may fire back, thus putting some of the rescuers in the victim position as well, potentially. Or the rescuers start fighting and arguing back and forth, creating new positions of victim and perpetrator between themselves as well. Other new rescuers might jump in.
But what ends up happening on these posts is it becomes virtually impossible to say anything without being attacked or your comment misunderstood. It takes a solid individual to say something on a post like this while ignoring all the arguing going on around them. Some choose to ignore it all, but then you don't get to speak your piece, which in a sense also makes you a victim if you choose to see it that way. What you end up with is a little snowball that is rolling down a hill growing into a bigger snowball that turns into an avalanche at some point.
What one has to beware of, and I'm in this group as well – is that the roles of victim and rescuer are seen as more “virtuous” than the role of the perpetrator. I've taken the role of rescuer a couple times and it has put me right back on the triangle. To me, the way to deal with this is to speak to the original post and to ignore all the arguing going on otherwise. If someone comments on your comment, ignore it. Leave the interaction between yourself and the poster because two cannot make a triangle.
The dark will often manipulate lightworkers into attacking other lightworkers. Why? To set up the drama triangle. To make a victim of the poster. Don't fall for it. I get this all the time. They are trying to bring your vibration down by making you “the bad guy,” the perpetrator. Then the person who attacked me will go find a friend to help them feel better and this friend becomes their rescuer. Also if I refuse to see myself as the perpetrator, I can take on the role of victim as well. Or I can rise above it and simply see what's going on and refuse to get my ego hooked into it. I can just see that this is that person who is projecting their stuff onto me in order to enforce their self concept of victim.
Still playing the victim, this victim will hold on to that resentment in order to continue to stay in the role that they most likely played out at an earlier time in their life. That is why it's so hard for victims to let go of their grudges and anger towards others – because then they have to change their self concept, and like I saw in a meme the other day, many of us have self concepts that have been created in trauma. If they stop indulging in this role of victim, then they lose their sense of self. Believe me, I've been through this – there's a better you underneath your self concept of victim.
Thanks, Ivo, I heard you on that one.
Ivo: You are most welcome, my love.
Me: I've never thought of it that way – that it's hard for victims to let go of their grudges and to forgive because then they have to let go of their sense of self. But I'm an example of this myself. I still have resentments from years ago that I have to keep working on. To forgive someone is to release my shadow self, which created the role of victim for me when I was a kid.
Ivo: Yes. And you see how much work it is for you.
Me: I think by comparison my family life was a little extreme. Most people don't have two narcissistic parents like I did.
Ivo: That is true. Let us continue then.....
Anyone who says, "You made me do this! You made me get angry!" is projecting their stuff onto you and trying to turn you into their perpetrator. Many seek the coveted victim role because they can go about feeling better about themselves that day. Frankly, I hardly think that feeling like a victim is a way to enhance anyone's day but many do. Perhaps they see so little choice in life because they're stuck relating to others through triangulation.
It's there. Watch for it! You've probably done it! You may still be doing it! It is insidious especially when you're unaware.
Ivo: You are making great strides with this, my love.
Me: My energy is changing. I can feel it. I'm healing from this lifelong pattern.
Ivo: And of course, as in the 12 steps, you were taught to keep the focus on yourself. Do not lament what the perpetrator did, do not seek the rescuer, in your case your sister. Keep the focus on what you did and how you can heal from this. Otherwise you simply take another voyage through negativity, and remain in the grasp of the dark, which seeks to make victims of all of you. The dark understands the triangle and how you relate to each other through it.
As you pointed out, shills are hired on facebook to create the triangle on lightworker posts. This is because those who are unaware or not soul-oriented will take a position on the triangle and begin to enact roles. This is not authentic behavior. This is not soul-based living. This is not even a high vibrational way of relating to others – it is pure egotism on all counts, no matter what role. And as you pointed out, my love, these roles are interchangeable. The victim can be a perpetrator, the perpetrator a rescuer, the rescuer can become the victim. They are interchangeable because each role is of the same low vibrational frequency.
Watch for it. Go on facebook and read through the posts, as Sharon does, and learn to discern each role being played out by posters and commenters. Study this. It is very important in order to life from one's heart and soul to cease engaging in egotistical behaviors. And this is one easy way to learn how you are and to stop yourself.
What is more, understand that when one sees themself as a victim, as Sharon did for so long.
Me: Yeah, I used to ask, “Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, “'Use me'?!”
Ivo: That is how strong energy is, my love. People read energy whether you want to acknowledge that or not. People saw your energy as being that of a victim, and then your speech and behavior confirmed it to them.
Me: And I have to keep looking at all people who took advantage of me as not taking advantage of me, but of trying to help me to overcome this weakness. When I look at all the people who tried to help me stop being a victim, I see how we really are all One, helping each other to gain strength and re-connect with our souls. It just happens to be pretty extreme right now, that's all.
Ivo: Yes, your world is an extreme case. And yes, as you were wondering the other day, fighting the dark is part of what life entails. However because your people are unaware by and large that they are being victimized by the dark, we have been allowed to intervene to that extent – to remove the dark from your world. The rest is up to you.
Me: True. What were we saying? LOL
Ivo: I was about to discuss that when one sees oneself as a victim, or a perpetrator as a matter of self-concept, that they will always react in this way. They can do nothing else as they are engaging life through their belief system, and one belief is that they are a victim, for example.
Me: Yes. That's why I realized that the person I set the boundaries with the other day was going to blast me when she read my message. She sees herself as a victim. What else would a victim do but act like a victim?
Ivo: And you avoid these people like the plague. Their propensity for pulling you back on the triangle is severe. You seek out people who you wish to begin the new world with, not those who are still mired in the old world, on lower timelines.
Me: True. And there has to be an awareness of this, and awareness of the fact that we're here to forgive and to help raise the vibe on this planet, not to stay mired in victimhood or to stay on the triangle as well. Oh yes, and for those who identify with being a victim, I have a free e-course on our website called, “Stop being a victim!” so that you can get off the triangle and start relating to people in a more loving way.
I just want to say this to people listening out there: there are a few ways to heal your shadow – you can listen and learn from videos like this and do the work yourself, which is the easy way; you can end up in recovery programs like I did because your life is too painful to go on; or you can keep acting this out with others until finally one day the light snaps on and you realize you can't do this anymore and you need to get help. Take the easy route. Start examining your own behavior.
Ivo: Yes. So we will thank Mr. Karpman for bringing this awareness to the mental health community of your planet.
Me: Yes. Thank you as well, Ivo.
Ivo: My love, you are most welcome. You are learning and becoming so much stronger.
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